


Re:Guilty Kiss

by Lord_Amias



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Celebrities, Cheating, Cheating On Wife, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Forced Marriage, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Love Triangles, M/M, Rewrite, Sasaki Yui is a character from jr volume 17 ch 3, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:55:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29728647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Amias/pseuds/Lord_Amias
Summary: Usami Akihiko, famous novelist, is married to Sasaki Yui, a famous actress who has starred in a movie adaption of one of Akihiko’s novels. Despite being married to an astounding woman, Akihiko is miserable, lonely, sexually frustrated, and despises his “lover”. To add insult to injury, he is forced to put on the happily married celebrity couple persona everywhere he goes. Love seems like a foreign concept...Until he meets a certain someone at a party. That person had stolen his heart that night.
Relationships: Ijuuin Kyou/Takahashi Misaki, Takahashi Misaki/Usami Akihiko
Comments: 13
Kudos: 22





	1. Wonderful Life

**Author's Note:**

> SO...GUILTY KISS...I'm going to be real, I did NOT like the original concept at all and I regret writing it. I'm sorry to those who were really interested in that story, it just wasn't working. This is a revamp with basically the same concept. For those who don't understand who Sasaki Yui is, she's a character mentioned in volume 17, chapter 3 of Junjou Romantica. Akihiko is married to her by pressure and for financial reasons and yeah. He's still gay, he doesn't love her at all, but he married her anyway and tries to be decent. He has the hots for guys though. Anyway, please enjoy this mess<3 Thank you to wh33zy on tumblr for helping me write this concept!!!!!!!!

This was the unhappiest day of Akihiko’s entire life. 

He could see so much, yet so little at the same time. There were flower petals scattered all over the floor, a long carpet was creased one too many times. Bells hung above his head as roses were surrounding him. The rows of seats were packed with people who might as well have been strangers. 

He could see his father in the front row, giving a satisfied smile. Well, more like a shit eating grin. His mother was beside his father, not even bothering to show any joy. His brother did not even bother to stop by, and only a few of his cousins were present. Though there were barely any faces worth mentioning, he could see a dear friend of his in the very back row: Takahiro Takahashi, his friend since high school. At least seeing one person who valued him was enough to make the man’s fake smile a bit more genuine. The rest of the guests were people Akihiko could barely remember the names of. Some of them were not even invited, just there with a camera and notepads. 

This was about to be breaking news: Usami Akihiko, famous novelist, marries Sasaki Yui, famous actress who had starred in a movie adaption of her spouse’s novels! What a wonderful story! How heartwarming, how sweet! To think an actress had won the author’s heart by starring as his main character...It was like fate! They were going to share a wonderful life together. Maybe even have children in the future! Isn’t that just LOVELY?!

No, it wasn’t. Akihiko stood at the altar, a smile being forced so hard that his cheeks began to ache. The flashing of the cameras were hurting his eyes. The non-stop chitter chatter was making him agitated. His suit felt too tight around his chest, and his feet began to hurt from standing. He looked forward, seeing the person who was going to control the rest of his life. How he loathed the sight.

Her dress was elegant, covered in lace patterns and her veil fell over her shoulders. Her smile was wide, and her hair was in a tight bun. The amount of makeup on her face was revolting. She was gorgeous in the worst way possible. Akihiko wanted to puke. 

Then, those dreaded words were spoken: 

“You may kiss the bride”. 

As his lips touched hers, he could see pure darkness. The loud cheering was going to make him go deaf. 

Wait, why was it going so dark? Where did everyone go?! He looked around, realizing he was surrounded by pure black. He felt his body sinking, he was falling! He could feel gravity latching onto his legs, pulling him down into the abyss before he could even scream. 

Then he opened his eyes. He sat up quickly, his head was pounding. It was like it was being crushed. He could feel sweat rush down his forehead. What the hell was that? Why’d he dream about his wedding?! That was so long ago! 

And where even was he?! He quickly glanced around, seeing that he was in a bed. He turned to the left, seeing a lamp on a nightstand that was dimly lit. There were clothes on the floor. Then...he turned to the right. 

It all came back to him now. 

As he looked beside him, he could see someone sleeping beside him. It was another man. His hair was a dark shade of brown, his body was much smaller than his. His face was...surprisingly cute. Both of them were naked, both of their clothes were on the floor. They were in a hotel room...Akihiko’s hotel room. 

He had cheated on his own wife with another man. Now, he just had to figure out what to do next. Now, it was time to remember what the hell had happened to even lead up to this. Then, he could leave and forget it happened. 


	2. Rewind To A Sweet Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akihiko struggles to remember what happened last night that lead to him cheating on his wife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH CHAPTER 2 ALREADY?! honestly my discord server motivates me to write so much,, enjoy!

There the great Usami Akihiko was, in a scandalous situation. He just had to figure out how he woke up from a nightmare about his past wedding, naked, hungover, and next to another man he didn't know. His skin crawled from the trouble he knew this was going to cause him. All he knew was that he was at a party celebrating he and other authors' work and he got drunk out of his mind...then ended up here. 

Akihiko was already out of bed, putting back on his clothes that he had gotten from off the floor, preparing to forget what had happened. Still, he knew he couldn’t just move on. He couldn’t help but look back at the bed, seeing the person he had just slept with: His hair was about shoulder length and his frame was small. Wasn’t exactly Akihiko’s type. 

Why’d he even sleep with this guy? Who was this? Why could he barely remember how he met him? If word got out that he had sex with another man...his career would completely tank. He wasn’t one to care about fame, but his novel sales would plummet. Yui would divorce him and his whole house would probably go straight to her. All his hard work would just vanish! It’s not like he wanted to care about this, but his life’s work was at risk. He couldn’t just let his snake of a wife just take it all away if she found out. 

It was for the best to just get the hell out of there, forget about it, never speak about it. Akihiko had finished getting dressed, grabbed his suitcase from the floor, and was about to leave...But he looked back. He peered towards the bed where the other person slept. His hand was above the doorknob, but did not turn it. 

_ ‘Come on, just leave! Get out of there before this guy wakes up! Hurry!’ _ , he thought. Despite his mind shouting at him, he kept looking back at the person who should have meant nothing. Then, as if he were being controlled, he took his hand off the knob and his legs began to move away from the door. He made his way towards the bed once more, looking down at the sleeping male that he once laid with. He stared down at the boy, completely entranced. Was a spell cast on him? His heart skipped a beat just by looking at him. Akihiko crouched down, letting himself get a better view. 

_ ‘He’s so small...could this guy even handle me? No wonder he’s knocked out...Who are you, mystery boy?’. _

He extended his hand, moving the boy’s hair out the way of his face to better see his peaceful expression. His lips looked a bit red and swollen, but nothing too damaging. His neck had marks all over, as well as his collar bone. His small chest raised and fell slowly with every breath. His hair was a deep shade of brown, like wood. Despite being so simple in appearance, he was breathtaking.

_ ‘He looks so beat up...I want to look at him longer’. _

For some reason, the author felt calm looking at this person. A wave of peace washed over him. It was like he was being pacified. He wanted to keep gazing at this person. His hand ached to touch more of his body, to explore it, to see and touch every part like it was a trophy. His cheeks were beginning to heat up. Why was he starting to get flustered? Why was he so content just watching this person sleep? Who even was this? What the hell was going on?!- 

Suddenly, his ringtone blared from his pocket, startling him. He jumped, almost tripping over his own feet as he rushed out the door, hoping the noise wouldn’t wake that person. Of all times to get a call, why’d it have to be now?! 

As soon as he escaped the room, he sighed in relief. His heart was still racing as he lifted his phone to check the caller id. A part of him was relieved he got away from that situation. But on the other hand, who was calling him at such an ungodly hour?! The sun probably hadn’t even risen yet! 

Ah, of course. His stomach ached at the sight. Of course his wife was calling him  _ this early _ . The woman he wishes he never bothered saying “yes” to, Sasaki Yui. If only he could just get rid of her. He could already feel his mouth go dry and his body boiling. With much hesitance, he clicked the little green button on the screen. 

“Hello, Yui”, he answered. His voice was stern and cold. “It’s a bit early to be calling me. Did something happen?” He could feel a wave of disgust rush through him just by saying her first name. He felt a weight on his shoulders, just shouting at him that he was too exhausted to deal with her usual nonsense. It wasn’t like he hated her at all, he just hated _ being _ with her. He didn’t love her at all. He wasn’t attracted to her. Why’d he have to be bound down by this woman?! Still, he tried to keep his composure. He held his tongue. 

“Akihiko, where did you go last night?”, she asked. Her voice was sharp. “You were at the bar, but then you just vanished! Where are you right now?”

He took a moment to stand in silence. Where he went last night...What happened…His foot tapped on the floor, his fingers feeling numb. He could recall being at the bar, then feeling bad. Yes, he was definitely at the bar. Then, he...Where did he go? He bit his lip in frustration. Where’d he go again? 

“Why are you asking me now?”, he asked. “Didn’t you look for me when I left?”. 

“Well, I had to pose for the photographers and deliver my speech. You know I can’t say ‘no’ to them, Akihiko!”. 

_ ‘That’s more important than your missing husband?’ _ . He felt his brow twitch. 

“Well, Akihiko”, she began. “I think security mentioned you went to the toilet...I hope you weren’t smoking in secret”. 

The toilet? He thought for a moment, then it clicked. Ah, that’s right, he went to the bathroom! But...what happened after that? His eyebrows furrowed and his jaw clenched. His memory was so hazy that he was getting frustrated. Why was his mind all jumbled?! This was getting so annoying! 

“Akihiko? Are you there?”. 

He snapped back to reality. 

“Oh, yes, I am”, he cleared his throat. “Sorry, I’ve been distracted…”

“Are you okay? Should I come find you?-”

“No!”, he snapped. That was the last thing he needed right now. “Ah, sorry...I’m not feeling too well, honey.” He pinched his nose bridge, huffing. “I need some time by myself right now, bye”. With that, he hung up. He knew he had to get to the bottom of this, but his wife’s voice was the last thing that was going to help. 

He stood straight, walking forward to the last place he could remember going to: The bathroom. Specifically, a far off one that was by the stairs to the second floor. That one seemed to be reserved for the janitor probably. He knew he shouldn’t have gone there last night...Wait, why did he even go there? Why not the normal restroom that was beside the ballroom? Just how irrational was he last night?!

As he made his way downstairs, he could see how empty this hotel was at this early hour. No one was in the stairwell and no one was in the halls besides a few cleaning staff. It was a bit off putting, but he was almost at the restroom he ran off to.

_ ‘I probably went to this one so I could be alone...Yeah, that’s it’.  _ It was already starting to clear up. He nearly tripped over his feet as he walked downstairs to the first floor with how dimly lit it was. Still, he survived as he made it to the restroom. 

A part of him was hesitant to open the door. Still, he had no reason not to go in. He slowly cracked it open, peering in to see the empty room. He entered, shutting the door behind him. Only a toilet, some toilet paper and...some bottles on the floor? That was odd. He knelt down, an eyebrow raised as he inspected the bottles. 

They were alcohol bottles, completely empty. Did someone bring them in here? He set them down, bringing a hand up to his chin as he thought. Who would escape a party to get away from the crowd to go into a secluded bathroom to drink by themselves? Just who would do that without telling anyone what their intent was? Just who hated being near people that much to try to escape to get wasted to make themselves feel better? Just who would do that?!

_ ‘Oh, right. I would’. _ He cursed under his breath, standing up as he looked down. So that part was solved.  _ ‘I guess getting drunk in the public bathroom would be...bothersome, so this place is the next best thing...But something doesn’t add up’.  _ He bit his lip, running his hands through his hair in frustration.  _ ‘If I wanted to be alone, how did that guy and I find eachother?!’.  _

He groaned, face palming. This was getting ridiculous! 

Then, he peered down once more. One of the bottles wasn’t even opened, there was still liquid inside. That was odd. 

He bent down to pick it up, seeing it was still new. He took a few seconds to think. 

Then, it hit him. 

He froze, dropping the bottle out of his hands. It fell to the floor, shattering as wine and glass scattered everywhere. He jumped at the loud sound, rushing to lock the door before anyone could enter to see what was happening. 

He leaned his back against the wall, catching his breath as he rushed to check his phone. There was the name of the stranger in his contacts: Takahashi Misaki. 

With the broken liquor bottle on the floor, staring at the new contact on his phone, Akihiko could recall everything. 

* * *

  
  


It was a chilly night from what he could remember. Yui was taking her sweet time to get ready, and Akihiko was standing at the front door. He waited impatiently, checking his wristwatch to see how many precious seconds they’ve lost. He didn’t even  _ want  _ to go to this awards ceremony, but the higher ups promised he’d get a major vacation if he showed up to give a “heartfelt” speech. Apparently being handsome, smiling, and mentioning how much he “loves” his wife would drive the fans wild. 

_ ‘Isaka better keep his promise...I’m already exhausted just by thinking about this’ _ . As he checked his wristwatch again, he caught a glimpse of his wedding ring. He cringed at the sight, stuffing his hand into his coat pocket. He never asked to be married, but he could only do so much. It’s not like confessing to his old high school crush (and best friend) would do anything, and he hasn’t met anyone else that sparked his interest. 

Of course he had met a few people, dated them and had sex with them, but none of those relationships had ever lasted. It wasn’t like he could suddenly file for a divorce without a good reason either. There wasn’t any urgency anyway. At least it was comfortable. Though, if it weren’t for his father constantly coming back into his life, shaming him, making him feel worse, and worse...He wouldn’t have felt that agonizing pressure. His father had put so much poison in every word he spoke, it was enough to completely shatter Akihiko’s reasoning...It was his own dad’s fault that it ended up like this! Now the press is keeping constant tabs on him!

Were there some perks to marrying the famous actress? Well, he had a lot more pocket money to spend. Plus, he had housekeepers to help clean up. The sex wasn’t exactly thrilling, but it was there...Though he stopped giving in after realizing he just was  _ not  _ interested. That conversation with Yui over ending their physical relationship didn’t exactly end well, but now he doesn’t have to worry about Yui coming onto him. Was there anything else going for them? No, not really. At least he had someone to remind him when dinner was ready. 

Still, it would’ve been nice to be himself once in a while.

“Akihiko, did you call our ride?”. 

He turned, watching his wife walk down the stairs towards him. He could smell the hairspray from a mile away, her dress was an eye bleeding color, and she seemed to purposely puff her chest out towards him. She smiled at him, but he could see some annoyance in her eyes once she looked him up and down. 

“Akihiko, you’re really not matching with me?”, she asked. Her lipstick seemed to crack from her grin.

“You didn’t say we were going to match”, he replied. “You only told me to get ready, so I did”. 

“You could at least change your tie to match my dress, Akihiko”. 

“No, we're running late, Yui. Let's just hurry and go”. He did his best to maintain a kind voice, but he could see her roll her eyes. He shrugged to himself as he followed her out the door. 

As soon as they stepped foot out the car to enter Teito Hotel, they were swarmed by photographers. Yui, being the people pleaser she was, locked arms with Akihiko, giving out her best smile. Akihiko forced a grin, starting to feel suffocated by the atmosphere. He could tell this sight was going to be on every gossip page. 

Once they finally entered the building, the unease never went away. The lobby was packed with those invited, those who were just plus ones, and the press who wanted to document the event. Once they were spotted, questions began to flood: 

"Usami, is it true your newest novel is based on your marriage?!"

"Are you planning on having children? The characters in that novel had children at the end!"

"How do you feel about your last novel being turned into a film? Are you hoping this new release will turn into a movie as well?! 

“Who do you want the actors to be if it gets an adaption?!"

"Do you want your wife to play the lead role?!" 

Akihiko felt like he was going insane. He ignored all the questions, waving his hand and gave a polite smile. All he wanted was to get over this obstacle, then he could have a nice vacation that would be spent at home, in bed, relaxing with earplugs in so he wouldn't hear anyone nag him. 

After managing to excuse himself, he made his way to the ballroom to get the night over with. He was already antsy from all the eyes on him, the loud conversations that filled every room, the flashing lights...Everything was making him want to crawl up into a ball and scream. It was so exhausting. Who could enjoy parties like this?! 

His smile he was forcing was starting to hurt his cheeks. Where was Yui during all this? Well, at first she clung to his arm to show him off. Then, she eventually split off to take photos and answer her own questions. It was a relief for him. 

_ 'Isaka better be happy that I'm even here…'. _ Akihiko kept fidgeting.  _ ‘I feel like I’m going to throw up’. _ His head was spinning and his heart was pounding. He dodged the large groups of party goers, clinging to one of the walls as he snaked his way to a corner. Thankfully, he was finally able to catch his breath once other authors, mangaka, and actors made their way in. The spotlight could finally get off him. 

There was Sumi, an excellent novelist who Akihiko happened to exchange business cards with in the past. The press loved rushing to that guy to ask about his novels and their deeper meanings. Some questions were ones that Akihiko wanted to ask, so he at least made sure to listen in. Then some lesser known novelists came to try to network amongst each other. Then a few mangaka came, one being Ijuuin. As soon as he waltzed in, the spotlight really began to shine. The women in particular got far louder than before. The pain of being attractive was being passed onto another. Akihiko couldn’t help but chuckle to himself.

Akihiko sighed in relief as the focus got off him. Everyone was talking to the other notable figures, bombarding them with questions, taking phones, and more! The author just stood alone, catching his breath. This was just as he wanted. 

But then- 

"Akihiko? Why are you in the corner?". 

_ 'Damn it'. _

Yui just HAD to draw attention back to him. She knew he didn't like crowds! Was she doing this on purpose?! 

She strut towards him, drink in hand as everyone turns to look at her. She sparkled against every light. She smiled, blinding everyone with her charm. However, Akihiko was the only one who wasn't swayed. He was going to get her for this. 

Flashes of lights hurt his eyes as she went to stand next to him, showing off her left hand to show the ring he had been forced to propose with. The crowd just ate that up. Akihiko made sure not to show his, but he smiled and nodded. At least a sweet expression would be enough. 

He was probably going to snap soon. 

Eventually, it was time for the bigshots to give out speeches. Several authors went first. Akihiko stood and watched, drinking from a champagne glass as he tapped his foot. He just wanted to get this over with. Then he could leave to his hotel room and go to sleep. 

The microphone was so loud. It kept peaking, but no one but him seemed to notice. The sound was irritating him. He wanted to throw his glass onto the floor and smash it to bits.

Then someone dropped their phone into the floor. No one seemed to even hear the sound, but Akihiko did. He felt his mouth twitch. It was too loud. He wondered if anyone would notice if he booked it. 

The crowd kept cheering, laughing, sometimes coughing or sneezing, making so much noise. Akihiko was getting angrier by the second. 

‘ _ For the love of god, just shut up _ .’ 

And then, 

"Next up, a word from the talented novelist himself, Usami Akihiko!". The crowd erupted, but eventually quieted down as he forced himself to walk on stage. He was handed the microphone and the cameras faced toward him. So many eyes were on him, so many lights were shining. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought this was hell. Still, he gave a warm smile. 

“I’m very honored to have been given this award”, he grinned. His eyes shut, his head tilted. The crowd cheered, absolutely adoring every moment of his presence. He gripped the mic so hard he thought it might break. “Thank you to my supportive fanbase, without you, I’d be nowhere. Thank you to my dear friends, my colleagues, and to my lovely wife, Yui. I am forever thankful to all of them.”

_ ‘I just want to get the hell out of here.’ _

What happened after he said that was a blur of camera flashes, millions upon millions of questions, and cheering. He was just thankful to get off the stage and to be offered a few drinks by staff. Once he stepped foot off that platform, exhaustion hit him. He was tired. 

His heart was aching and his head was spinning. His legs felt like they were going to give out. He felt so trapped and he knew he still had more to do before he was off the hook. He was sweating, it was getting hard to breathe. 

_ ‘I want to leave, I want to get the hell out of here…’ _

He forced himself to walk forward, somehow not even stumbling. Where could he go to at least take a short break? Where would be okay?! 

Then, he spotted it: A bar area that was off to the side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH HOPE YOU ENJOYED<333 can't wait to start writing chapter 3!

**Author's Note:**

> HOPE YOU ENJOYED<333 please enjoy this revamp<3 not sure if im going to keep the original up haha,, but please enjoy this! Next chapter will be about how Akihiko met Misaki at the party >:3 enjoy some hurt/comfort and some fluff and smut!


End file.
